Etiquette on a Formal Dinner Date
Dating has always been in a state of flux, and although dating practices have never been, at some point, entirely ruled by restrictions, gone are the days when most people had some knowledge on formal dating etiquette.
The term formal dating here has nothing to do with the concept of people seeing each other exclusively but rather on the idea of going to a formal venue for a date. Nowadays, the act of even just suggesting the option might be met with incredulity. The young, most especially, do not prefer to go on formal dates. Aside from the fact that it is financially taxing, the formality of the situation elicits feelings of discomfort. Dating, after all, is intended for people to get to know and to be at ease with each other. Who could accomplish this goal of modern dating with all those unusual-looking glasses and utensils?
Whatever your personal sentiments are regarding formal dating however, there is a need at least even once in your life to bring yourself and your date to a classy venue for some fine dining. It is a part of social training to prepare you for similar future engagements as an adult.
The preliminaries are, of course, a common and much discussed topic. In essence, except probably for the formal attire, pre-date preliminaries in an informal setting and in a formal setting are pretty much the same. Men are generally expected to show deference to their female dates, opening doors for them, assisting them and being solicitous to their needs. You are also, of course, required to dress up, look your best and not sacrifice your appearance for comfort. Some restaurants will not let you in even if you're wearing a coat and tie if you have sneakers on.
In the restaurant, males should assist the females in being seated first. When it is time to order, women are usually asked to give their choices first. It is, of course, a matter of formality which women should not take advantage of. Women should never order the most expensive dish on the menu unless the men, who asked for the date and are expected to pay for it, say in a subtle and diplomatic way that it is okay.
When the orders have been taken, formal dating etiquette should now focus on the dining aspect. The first step is, of course, to secure your table napkin. It should not be tucked under your chin. That would ruin your perfectly crisp, attractive attire. Instead, it should be spread on your lap.
As for the placement of the utensils, remember that to your right are your glasses, spoons, knives and a fork for seafood. To the left are your forks and bread and butter plate. The utensils on top of the plate setting are your dessert utensils. Do not be overwhelmed by the intimidating array of plates, glasses and utensils in front of you. If you've ordered for every course, you will be served by course and you just have to use the utensils according to the course. That is, use the outermost utensils first and work your way in per course. Just remember that the spoon to your right is a soup spoon and not a dinner spoon. You cut your food with your knife and eat it with your fork.
When you are done with each course, do not return your utensils on the table but allow it to be taken out along with your empty plate. You indicate that you are done by placing your utensils diagonally over your plate at a 10:20 position. The knife edge should be facing inward and located to the right of your fork.
Formal dating etiquette may seem unnerving, but it is part of the basic knowledge that your should have stored in your memory. It is one of the best way to impress a date.
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